{"product_id":"if-i-ever-get-arrested-and-go-to-jail-no-worries-my-wife-never-lets-me-finish-a-sentence-funnyt-tee-gildan-5000","title":"If I Ever Get Arrested - Wife Never Lets Me Finish Sentence Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSome People Were Put On This Planet Just To Test My Anger Management Skills | Gildan 5000\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOFFICER, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND... I WAS TRYING TO FINISH A SENTENCE AT HOME AND GOT ARRESTED FOR IT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLook, jail doesn't scare me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI've been doing hard time for 20 years. It's called MARRIAGE.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou think a concrete cell, a metal toilet, and a guy named Tiny in the next bunk is rough? Try trying to tell your wife how your day went. Same thing, but Tiny doesn't ask you to take out the trash mid-sentence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE PLAN:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf I ever get arrested - and let's be honest, after leaving my socks on the floor for the 9,000th time, it's a matter of WHEN, not IF - I'm not worried.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cops will read me my rights. My wife will read me my wrongs. For longer. And louder.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cops will say \"You have the right to remain silent.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHoney, I've been practicing that right for YEARS. I perfected it. I have a PhD in \"Yes, dear.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cops will interrogate me for 6 hours. My wife has been interrogating me since 2003 about where I put the remote. I AM PREPARED.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eJail is just marriage with bars. And honestly, in jail someone else does the cooking and I might actually FINISH A SENTENCE.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWARNING:\u003c\/strong\u003e Do not wear around your wife. Or do. If you want to start that sentence you will never finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\n\u003cbr\u003eThe 100% cotton unisex classic tee will help you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, maintains sharp lines around the edges, and goes perfectly with layered streetwear outfits. Plus, it's extra trendy now! \n\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTHE SHIRT THAT WORKS AS HARD AS YOUR WIFE MAKES YOU WORK:\u003cbr\u003e• 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz\/yd² (170-180 g\/m²) \u003cbr\u003e• Open-end yarn\u003cbr\u003e• Tubular fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDisclaimers: \u003cbr\u003e• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.\u003cbr\u003e• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.\n\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect Gift Keywords:\u003c\/strong\u003e This funny wife shirt and funny husband shirt is a top funny marriage t-shirt and funny family t-shirt. Perfect gift for anniversaries and spouses.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA) Length 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(inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eGeneral\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eThe tee combines comfort, style, and durability, making it a top choice for both everyday wear and craft projects.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWash\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eMaintain the tee's look and feel by washing it in cold water with similar colors.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eDry\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry to preserve the fabric integrity and print quality.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eStore\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eIdeal for retail and online stores looking for a high-quality, customizable tee that supports ethical manufacturing practices\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"heritagehumor.com","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":68175991210115,"sku":"5d571142-9dc8-49e2-83d7-b54745bc9ad2","price":21.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":68185826656387,"sku":"fdbfb638-fbef-4dc4-a26a-9e36bbf9a1c3","price":21.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":68185826689155,"sku":"f33c2abe-f238-42db-af07-1f204e63f380","price":21.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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