{"product_id":"my-wife-never-complained-until-i-got-hearing-aids","title":"My Wife Never Complained Until I Got Hearing Aids","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cb\u003eClassic Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt | Gildan® 18000\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor 30 years, marriage was PERFECT. Quiet. Peaceful.\u003cbr\u003eI thought she was just sweet and agreeable. Turns out, she’s been talking the whole time. I just couldn’t hear her.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNow with these $5,000 hearing aids, I can hear EVERYTHING.\"Take out the trash.\"  \"Did you take out the trash?\" \"I TOLD you to take out the trash 45 minutes ago!\" \"Are you listening to me?  \"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI should have left my hearing on MUTE.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the perfect shirt for the guy who finally got hearing aids and now regrets his decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWHY THIS SWEATSHIRT IS LOUD AND CLEAR BETTER THAN THE REST:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe print it on the legendary \u003cspan\u003eGildan® 18000 Heavy Blend\u003c\/span\u003e — the sweatshirt that’s more reliable than your hearing aid batteries:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eComfort You Can Actually HEAR About:\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan\u003eA heavy blend sweatshirt crafted from a soft blend of 50% cotton and 50% polyester.\u003c\/span\u003e It’s warm, soft, and cozy — perfect for when you pretend you didn’t hear her say \"the grass needs mowing\" and go sit on the porch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eSofter Than Your Excuse \"Sorry Honey, My Battery Died\":\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan\u003eFeatures air jet yarn for a softer feel and reduced pilling.\u003c\/span\u003e No scratchy, bumpy, pilly mess after 100 washes. It stays soft and smooth, just like your new excuse: \"What? The hearing aid was turned down!\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eBuilt Tougher Than Your Marriage After 40 Years:\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan\u003eDouble-needle stitching at shoulder, armhole, neck, waistband, and cuffs.\u003c\/span\u003e This thing will not fall apart at the seams, even when you’re getting the look because you said \"WHAT?\" for the 9th time.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eStretches Like The Truth:\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan\u003e1x1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery.\u003c\/span\u003e The cuffs and waistband actually snap back and keep their shape. Unlike your selective hearing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eThe Fit Your Wife Will Actually Like:\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan\u003eClassic fit for everyday comfort.\u003c\/span\u003e True unisex, roomy, pre-shrunk. Looks good, feels good, and loud enough that everyone can read it — even without THEIR hearing aids.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e Your husband, dad, grandpa, retired guy, that guy at the coffee shop whose wife is yelling his name, birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas, or any old guy who just got hearing aids and realized silence was golden.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCare:\u003c\/span\u003e Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Warning: May cause your wife to say \"SEE? I TOLD YOU SO!\" and other husbands to beg you for the link.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou can hear her now. You just wish you couldn't. Add to Cart before she tells you to do it twice.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ccolgroup\u003e \u003ccol\u003e \u003ccol\u003e \u003c\/colgroup\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eGildan 18000 Measurements (Inches)\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eSize\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWidth (Chest)\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eCenter Back Sleeve\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.5\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.5\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35.5\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36.5\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.5\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38.5\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e39.5\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.0\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40.5\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGeneral\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis sweatshirt is a versatile staple for any wardrobe, combining comfort with casual style.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWash\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMachine washable in warm water with like colors.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDry\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTumble dry on medium setting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStore\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStore in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You'll Love It:\u003c\/strong\u003e This funny wife shirt and funny husband shirt is a top funny marriage t-shirt and funny family t-shirt. Perfect gift for anniversaries and spouses.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"heritagehumor.com","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50565480743043,"sku":"2ec01600-a2b2-4550-a51a-35b498e35354","price":31.39,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":68186672529539,"sku":"83b55a48-11ff-4636-99a0-bd5554095851","price":31.39,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":68186672562307,"sku":"3cb0d4e7-c0c8-45df-8541-3606fb4bbcfe","price":31.39,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":68186672595075,"sku":"0985a54b-d77c-426e-b28e-1ea063563a51","price":31.39,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":68186672627843,"sku":"9ca60667-8344-49ab-a547-ea70edf1ba10","price":33.32,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":68186672660611,"sku":"f465b008-4aff-4114-8e76-a4823eec4af4","price":35.67,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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