This Is Bob, Bob Has No Arms, Knock Knock Who's There? | Damn Sure Not

Meet Bob.

Bob can't knock. Bob can't clap back. Bob can't reach for that top shelf, open that bag of chips, or high-five you — and that's exactly why we love him.

This is pure, unfiltered, gritty dark humor for people who like their jokes like their coffee — black, a little wrong, and guaranteed to make someone in the room say "you can't say that" before they laugh anyway.

The Legend of Bob:
Every friend group has a Bob. The guy who is always the punchline and somehow still shows up. No arms, no problem, no knocking. You knock, he doesn't. It's not Bob. It will never be Bob. That's the joke, and it's funnier every time.

Perfect for:

Dark humor lovers, dive bar regulars, garage guys, and anyone who lives for that messed-up joke at 1 AM
The friend who always says "I've got a stupid joke" — this is his uniform now
Birthdays, white elephant, funny gift exchanges — give it to Bob, or to the guy who thinks he's Bob
Wearing to the shop, the range, the campfire, or anywhere people get real humor
WHY THIS SHIRT DOESN'T SUCK:

The Joke Hits Harder Than Bob Hits... Well, Nothing. He Has No Arms. It's that perfect, dumb, morbid joke that lives rent-free in your head. Perfect for family gatherings, work (if your boss has a sense of humor), and filtering out people who take life way too seriously.

Built Like A Brick Shithouse. The Gildan® 5000. We print this on the Gildan 5000 Heavyweight — 100% heavyweight cotton that actually has some balls to it. No see-through chest, no clingy, sweaty plastic feel. Just thick, soft, pre-shrunk cotton that holds its shape and doesn't quit.

The Specs For People Who Care:

Fabric: 5.3 oz/yd² Heavyweight 100% Cotton (Ash is 99/1, Sport Grey is 90/10) - The good stuff

Fit: Heavyweight Unisex Crewneck - Classic, slightly relaxed, looks good on everyone from your skinny nephew to your dad-bod uncle. True to size.

Construction: Taped neck and shoulders so the collar doesn't do that sad bacon wave. Double-needle stitching where it counts.

Print: Clean, bold, long-lasting ink that survives your washing machine and your life choices.

Made For: Everyday wear, being the funny one, offensive family photos, and letting everyone know your humor is darker than your coffee.

Fair Warning: You will be asked to explain it. You will have to say "It's not Bob" out loud. It's worth it every single time.

Bob has no arms. You have this shirt. You're already doing better than Bob.

Gildan® 5000 Heavyweight Tee - 100% Cotton Heavyweight - Preshrunk - Sizes S-5XL - Made to Order, Printed To Offend (In a Good Way)

Taped neck and shoulders for durability

Fabrication: Solid Colors are made from 100% cotton (preshrunk jersey knit); Ash Grey is 99% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester; Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester; Heather Colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester.

Size guide

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
A) Length (cm)	71.1	73.7	76.2	78.7	81.3	83.8	86	89
B) Width (cm)	91.4	101.6	111.8	122	132	142.2	152	162
B) Half Chest (cm)	45.7	50.8	55.9	61	66	71.1	76	81

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
A) Length (inches)	28	29	30	31	32	33	33.9	35
B) Width (inches)	36	40	44	48	52	56	59.8	63.8
B) Half Chest (inches)	18	20	22	24	26	28	29.9	31.9

Care Instructions

General	The tee combines comfort, style, and durability, making it a top choice for both everyday wear and craft projects.
Wash	Maintain the tee's look and feel by washing it in cold water with similar colors.
Dry	Tumble dry low or hang dry to preserve the fabric integrity and print quality.
Store	Ideal for retail and online stores looking for a high-quality, customizable tee that supports ethical manufacturing practices