{"product_id":"winking-at-me-will-get-you-everywhere-funny-t-shirt","title":"Winking at  Me Will Get You Everywhere Funny T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePSA: My Wink Has A Success Rate That Would Make Your Mom Nervous.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOh, you thought arguing would get you everywhere? Cute.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTry winking. I have been winking my way out of speeding tickets, into free desserts, and to the front of the line since I learned how to blink one eye at a time in 3rd grade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't flirting. This is STRATEGY. This is advanced negotiations. This is a PhD in \"Oops, did I do that? 😉\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Official Rules of Winking At Me:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOne wink = You get a smile.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwo winks = You get my number.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContinuous winking because you have something in your eye = You get an eye doctor referral.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for the woman who knows a wink is cheaper than therapy and more effective than yelling. For the guy who finally learned that winking at his wife actually DOES get him everywhere — including out of the doghouse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to work and watch HR pretend they didn't see it. Wear it on date night and watch your partner suddenly agree with everything you say. Wear it to Walmart and watch a little old lady wink back and steal your cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarning:\u003c\/strong\u003e May cause excessive winking, unwanted winks from strangers, sudden confidence, and people actually doing what you want because you're just that charming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ain't arguing. This is winking. And winking always wins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5. Features (Funny But Factual - Gildan® 64000)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOn our Heritage Humor favorite — \u003cstrong\u003eGildan® 64000 Softstyle\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFlirt-Level Soft:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz. of 100% ringspun cotton. So soft people will want to touch it. Let them — if they wink first.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWon't Quit Like Your Last Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e Modern classic fit that holds its shape after 100 washes, 100 winks, and 100 times your husband pretended not to see you winking at him.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNo Itchy Tag, Just Sass:\u003c\/strong\u003e Tear-away label so nothing scratches while you're out here winking your way to world domination.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-Shrunk Because Drama Shouldn't Shrink:\u003c\/strong\u003e Stays true to size. Your wink is big enough, your shirt shouldn't get small.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEthically Made:\u003c\/strong\u003e Because even professional winkers have standards. Fair Labor Association approved.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eIf you want this same design on the heavyweight \u003cstrong\u003eGildan 5000 (5.3oz)\u003c\/strong\u003e version, say the word and I'll swap the specs — no extra charge for being high-maintenance. 😉\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe 100% cotton unisex classic tee will help you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, maintains sharp lines around the edges, and goes perfectly with layered streetwear outfits. Plus, it's extra trendy now! \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTHE SHIRT THAT WORKS AS HARD AS YOUR WIFE MAKES YOU WORK:\u003cbr\u003e• 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz\/yd² (170-180 g\/m²) \u003cbr\u003e• Open-end yarn\u003cbr\u003e• Tubular fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDisclaimers: \u003cbr\u003e• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.\u003cbr\u003e• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize 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colors.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eDry\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry to preserve the fabric integrity and print quality.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eStore\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eIdeal for retail and online stores looking for a high-quality, customizable tee that supports ethical manufacturing practices\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"heritagehumor.com","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":68200449409155,"sku":"24298617-1a4d-457d-8ce4-15555a3e4d22","price":21.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":68200449441923,"sku":"c62eef0f-0021-4462-8986-abd177468971","price":21.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":68200449474691,"sku":"853187e5-7dc3-44e6-9d20-13370227ff87","price":21.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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