In The Shower Today I Almost Died

Unisex Classic Tee | Gildan 5000

Split-second survival instincts are a funny thing—especially when physics completely embarrasses you.

There you are, minding your own business in a hot shower, when gravity suddenly decides to betray you. In that fraction of a second where your life flashes before your eyes, your brain’s emergency response system kicks in with pure, unadulterated stupidity: trying to grab a stream of liquid water like it’s a sturdy steel handrail.

The "In The Shower Today I Almost Died" tee is a deadpan, hilarious tribute to surviving near-death experiences with absolutely zero graceful coordination. Printed on a heavy-duty 5.3 oz 100% preshrunk US cotton classic tee, this shirt lets you wear your survival story like a badge of honor—because as long as you walked away uninjured, your momentary lapse in basic physics is fair game for a good laugh.
Product Highlights & Specs:

Deadpan Survival Slogan: Boldly features the embarrassing confession: "In The Shower Today I Almost Died • I slipped and my dumbass tried to grab the water".

Heavyweight 100% US Cotton: Built from 5.3 oz/yd² preshrunk US cotton jersey for heavy-duty structure and daily breathability.

Seamless Tubular Fit: Features a classic fit without side seams so it won't twist or bind while you regain your footing.

Workwear Reinforcement: Engineered with twill-taped neck and shoulders plus double-needle sleeve and bottom hems for lasting toughness.

Scratch-Free Comfort: Equipped with a black tear-away label so you stay comfortable without itchy collar distractions.
The 100% cotton unisex classic tee will help you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, maintains sharp lines around the edges, and goes perfectly with layered streetwear outfits. Plus, it's extra trendy now!

The 100% cotton unisex classic tee will help you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, maintains sharp lines around the edges, and goes perfectly with layered streetwear outfits. Plus, it's extra trendy now!

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

Disclaimers:
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.

Perfect Gift Keywords: This bust a gut funny shirt is one of our funny sarcastic t-shirts that makes everyone laugh. Perfect funny gift for birthdays and holidays.

Size guide

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
A) Length (cm)	71.1	73.7	76.2	78.7	81.3	83.8	86	89
B) Width (cm)	91.4	101.6	111.8	122	132	142.2	152	162
B) Half Chest (cm)	45.7	50.8	55.9	61	66	71.1	76	81

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
A) Length (inches)	28	29	30	31	32	33	33.9	35
B) Width (inches)	36	40	44	48	52	56	59.8	63.8
B) Half Chest (inches)	18	20	22	24	26	28	29.9	31.9

Care Instructions

General	The tee combines comfort, style, and durability, making it a top choice for both everyday wear and craft projects.
Wash	Maintain the tee's look and feel by washing it in cold water with similar colors.
Dry	Tumble dry low or hang dry to preserve the fabric integrity and print quality.
Store	Ideal for retail and online stores looking for a high-quality, customizable tee that supports ethical manufacturing practices