For 30 years, marriage was PERFECT. Quiet. Peaceful.
I thought she was just sweet and agreeable. Turns out, she’s been talking the whole time. I just couldn’t hear her.
Now with these $5,000 hearing aids, I can hear EVERYTHING."Take out the trash." "Did you take out the trash?" "I TOLD you to take out the trash 45 minutes ago!" "Are you listening to me? "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?!"
I should have left my hearing on MUTE.
It's the perfect shirt for the guy who finally got hearing aids and now regrets his decision.
WHY THIS SWEATSHIRT IS LOUD AND CLEAR BETTER THAN THE REST:
We print it on the legendary Gildan® 18000 Heavy Blend — the sweatshirt that’s more reliable than your hearing aid batteries:
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Comfort You Can Actually HEAR About: A heavy blend sweatshirt crafted from a soft blend of 50% cotton and 50% polyester. It’s warm, soft, and cozy — perfect for when you pretend you didn’t hear her say "the grass needs mowing" and go sit on the porch.
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Softer Than Your Excuse "Sorry Honey, My Battery Died": Features air jet yarn for a softer feel and reduced pilling. No scratchy, bumpy, pilly mess after 100 washes. It stays soft and smooth, just like your new excuse: "What? The hearing aid was turned down!"
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Built Tougher Than Your Marriage After 40 Years: Double-needle stitching at shoulder, armhole, neck, waistband, and cuffs. This thing will not fall apart at the seams, even when you’re getting the look because you said "WHAT?" for the 9th time.
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Stretches Like The Truth: 1x1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery. The cuffs and waistband actually snap back and keep their shape. Unlike your selective hearing.
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The Fit Your Wife Will Actually Like: Classic fit for everyday comfort. True unisex, roomy, pre-shrunk. Looks good, feels good, and loud enough that everyone can read it — even without THEIR hearing aids.
Perfect For: Your husband, dad, grandpa, retired guy, that guy at the coffee shop whose wife is yelling his name, birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas, or any old guy who just got hearing aids and realized silence was golden.
Care: Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Warning: May cause your wife to say "SEE? I TOLD YOU SO!" and other husbands to beg you for the link.
You can hear her now. You just wish you couldn't. Add to Cart before she tells you to do it twice.
| Gildan 18000 Measurements (Inches) |
| Size |
Width (Chest) |
Length |
Center Back Sleeve |
| S |
20.0" |
27.0" |
33.5" |
| M |
22.0" |
28.0" |
34.5" |
| L |
24.0" |
29.0" |
35.5" |
| XL |
26.0" |
30.0" |
36.5" |
| 2XL |
28.0" |
31.0" |
37.5" |
| 3XL |
30.0" |
32.0" |
38.5" |
| 4XL |
32.0" |
33.0" |
39.5" |
| 5XL |
34.0" |
34.0" |
40.5" |
